whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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