at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
