i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
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I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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