I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
someone owes me an orgasm
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
