what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize