a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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