This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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