Its about making memories worth repressing
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
