she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize