He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize