Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
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He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
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Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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