good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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