hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
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She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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