Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Actions speak louder than pants.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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