I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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