elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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