Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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