One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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