it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
"it" just moved
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
