farters have to be the big spoon...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i out mim tonsoeep
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