Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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