Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
