i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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