how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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