I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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