I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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