Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Terrible idea I love it
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
