Can Purell be used as lube?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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