dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
