Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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