So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
