I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
