You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
