went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
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I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
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I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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