My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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