you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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