Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
