guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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