I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
