Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize