I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
