I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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