South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
