nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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