Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We won't sleep together?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
