Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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