if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
