All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
