No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
