Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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