Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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