Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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