its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
