I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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