Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
