Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
