We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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