I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
