I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
