So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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