I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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