She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
