My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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