Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
