i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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