I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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