I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
