I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it's like iHOP with fire
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So vagazzling was a success
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
