just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
