im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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