I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
