I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
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Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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