giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I woke up under a house in Key West
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
